Emo week.....

My friends found that I was quite quiet recently, without any reasons I just feel like I have no mood to talk and no space for happy. He is leaving me, yes he is going to leave me here and march forward to his success life, while I still need to struggle for 3 years more to get out from this school. Im gonna miss him a lot…. Boy just passed his professional exam and going to be a doctor very soon in June, I shall feel very happy and proud of him, but I found that this feeling was just a temporary moment. I don wish him to leave me, seriously, but at the same time I have to let go, so he can chase the dream that he want so much all these years~ become a doctor, and then proceed to be a pediatric specialist, and sub summore into the cardiologist for pediatric group. While me?? I’m just a normal ordinary second year medical student waiting for professional 1 exam without much effort, yet ( I promise I will study hard soon)

I should not have any negative emotion on this matter, but I just cannot control my emotion. Every time when I think of he officially graduates from this medical school and gonna leave this faculty forever until his convo during October, I felt loneliness….. I wish he can stay with me longer but at the same time definitely I don wish him to get any extension because of failure in the examination. He is a smart person and a very well-organized ppl, and this is the reason why he is attractive. I just don wish that the gap between us is getting bigger and bigger…. Yes my knowledge is not there, not as the same level as his, but im improving. Plz slow down ur steps to wait for me, look behind to make sure that im still following you, but not missing my direction to somewhere else…..

The future is just a very far topic and idea to me, what I see now is how am I going to pass my prof, but I cant predict how long this relationship can sustain and how long both of us can be together. Well of coz I wish to be with him forever, but who knows? Life is totally unpredictable, and this is a long distance relationship, much effort and sacrifices are needed from both of us to manage the relationship well. I have confident with him, but I just don have confident with his surroundings. (well forget about me, I have no market value here at all). What if someday he met another girl who is even better than me, maybe a new houseman like him or a nurse? I cant kill and chop that girl into pieces for bah kut te, so I just pray hard this situation wont happen to me ( it did happened in reality among my frens)

I will miss every moment of us, the time we studied together in the faculty until midnight time; when we jogged together in K17 to Bukit Ekspo; Dined together for dinner in the café while complaining the food was totally tasteless; walked one round and round in the faculty area at night time….. after this Friday, Im gonna study alone in the faculty, without ur voice as my companion, and no ppl will eat the food I cooked for special. No ppl will bear with my bad temper when I was frustrated, no ppl is going to cheer me up when I was in a bad mood….

This Friday is the last day he stay in K17….and after this Friday, I am going to be alone, neither single nor available =)) 

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